I’m being stalked by a black wheelie bin

It all started when the refuse collectors trashed my wheelie bin and it got swallowed by their compactor. They don’t tell you they’ve done it. They just slope off and leave you to find out. So I rang the council and they said they would deliver another bin in four weeks time (four weeks! – don’t they have any in stock?). They said I could put my rubbish in black bags and they would still collect it. Except they didn’t. They just stuck a label on the bags saying because they weren’t in a bin it was excess rubbish and …